repository for the occasional perambulatory rumination

yesterday’s plan is history. too gimmicky, trying too hard to be clever i realized in the magical dark early hours this morning when it gelled: what i want is a way to commemorate days, not just chronicle them.

a most important prerequisite, of course, is that there there be days worthy of commemoration . . .

i have a great aunt who loved (even if those of us around her didn’t) to suck the meat off the bone at the end of a meal. that’s what i want: to suck the meat off the bone of each day. to live each day with the spirit of a poet, keenly awake and aware. i want to slough off what’s not important, leaving room for what is – and i want to know the difference.

i want to stop wasting words and time, spinning my wheels, fretting over things that don’t matter.

i want to become an expert at discernment.

i want to live without feeling the need for apology and disclaimer or sometimes, even explanation.

i want to become fluent in just because. (without having to say or explain it.)

i want to stop being a time victim. (i quit saying “i don’t have time” long ago – now it’s time to start living like i believe it.)

oh, shoot. as usual, there’s somebody who’s already said what i want to say and said it more eloquently and with greater articulation. this, this is how i want my days to be:

Questions Before Dark
Day ends, and before sleep
when the sky dies down, consider
your altered state: has this day
changed you
Are the corners
sharper or rounded off? Did you
live with death? Make decisions
that quieted? Find one clear word
that fit? At the sun’s midpoint
did you notice a pitch of absence,
bewilderment that invites
the possible? What did you learn
from things you dropped and picked up
and dropped again? Did you set a straw
parallel to the river, let the flow
carry you downstream?

-Jeanne Lohmann

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4 Responses to “choosing straws”

  1. quiltdivajulie on January 7th, 2009 4:36 pm

    This sounds like a plan to live with (not live up to)… good for you.

  2. jeanne, herself on January 7th, 2009 5:36 pm

    thanks, julie. it is, as you said in your blog, all in the attitude.

  3. Acey on January 8th, 2009 3:59 pm

    time victim. What a perfect way to put it. Also love the intention woven into the words “I want to become fluent in just because”.

  4. jeanne, herself on January 8th, 2009 11:03 pm

    thanks, acey. you always seem to be able to pick out the important kernels – the things i sometimes don’t even see myself until i read your comment then reread what i wrote.

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