repository for the occasional perambulatory rumination

1.1: new. new beginning. new chapter. new start.

long ago i began to start my new years on 9.1. as an educator and mother of school-age children, it just made sense. even when the school calendars began creeping up into august, i held firm to 9.1.

i gave up on resolutions long, long ago because regardless of how buoyant i felt when declaring them, by mid-february the weight of those resolutions shut me down, had me feeling like the failure part of my brain knew me to be. resolutions. blechdt on the word. resolve is okay, but still, connotations linger.

i went with “plans” for a while, but before long that word suffered the same fate. there were “action plan” years and “dream” years and “balloons”, “bubbles”, and “baubles” in the more fanciful years before i just gave up altogether, shucking off any type of structure for the new year. i have a love/hate relationship with structure: i love it, i loathe it. formerly known for being The Most Organized Gal Imaginable (a title that made me purr upon hearing), i gradually succumbed to unstructured squalor. oh, i still have an accomplishment streak a mile wide – and i am still productive.

some days.

maybe all days, it’s just that the standards for, the definition of “productive” has shifted.

anyway, in 2007 i thought it might be nice to have some structure re-enter, so in what can only be described as a blazing fit of organizing creativity, i conjured up a year’s worth of monthly themes for my blog – something i set aside before the end of the first month, finding it hard to breathe when i sat down at the keyboard.

at the end of 2008 the bug struck again and i got to thinking that i’d kinda’ like to come up with a word for 2009. you know, like normal people do.

but i couldn’t settle on a word. not a single, solitary, just-one word in the sky of so many words.

then i read how some people are choosing three (3) words, and that seemed a better fit . . . until i started trying to choose. (same selection issues arise, quantity be damned.)

fiona robyn will continue her habit of a daily rendering of small stones, ordinaries she might have missed had she not been paying close attention.

patti digh is doing a daily art journal using 3×3 inch squares of paper (see #8).

when i read lisa call’s 100 accomplishments of 2008, i whipped out my new sparkly calculator (a real find yesterday on the clearance table at the local bookstore) and began trying to figure out how to divide 100 by 12. or is it 12 by 100???

what to do, what to do?

okay, i think we can all see that an infusion of structure into my life with more than a sprinkle of commitment would not be a bad thing. what i really yearn for is a different way of looking at my days, a different way of seeing and being.

it’s obviously not going to be 1-3 words that compass my year. i like patti’s idea of the 3×3 squares, but then i wonder if i’d have to precut some 300+ base squares AND lots of tinier bits in various colors. and what to do when i travel. nope, that won’t work.

the idea of 100 accomplishments appeals to me because it’s a list. and an already-written-and-ready-to-send holiday letter at the end of the year. but the division thing hangs me up.

see, i’m a words girl. married my mr thrillenity for many reasons, not the least of which is that he’s a numbers guy, leaving me available to focus on words.

words.

hmmmmm. looking at my keyboard (where i record most of my words because though i love the feel/sound/look of a fountain pen scratching along textured paper, i hate ink-drenched fingers and clothes and my fingers dance much more swiftly across the keyboard making it easier to keep up with my racing brain.) (which i know is all the more reason to switch to pen and paper, but i’m addressing that in another way.) then, as i gaze at the keyboard as if awaiting an answer, i light on the symbol keys. with the exception of the < and > keys, these are the only keys whose intended use has not been worn off through use. so maybe – at least for now – i will be on the look out for ways to complete these “sentence fragments”:

?: i will conjure up on question a day – trying to learn and see and be right through the questions.

!: what day would be complete without an exclamation of surprise or delight or maybe even harumph.

& for things learned and other adventures.

and, though i know three (3) is a comfortable number, i’m adding a fourth: ~ for my free/footnote space.

now i just have to decide the structure of frequency . . .

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Comments

4 Responses to “dancing through the days”

  1. Acey on January 6th, 2009 3:36 pm

    yay. you’re back! I like your inventive plan for finding a type of challenge that makes sense to you. Gave me a moment’s pause and I concluded I would pick two symbols that aren’t on a keyboard – one spiral that flows outward the other the flows inwards. And a slash as in either/or.

  2. jeanne, herself on January 6th, 2009 3:51 pm

    hello my friend acey – oh how i have missed you. love your symbols – the spiral: always. (did i tell you i have a square spiral?) and i just may have to steal/borrow the / for either/or. given that polarities are my middle name. given that indecision still rules (tho’ some would call it lack of commitment!).

  3. quiltdivajulie on January 7th, 2009 11:50 am

    I, too, resist making “resolutions” for the very reasons you so beautifully enumerated . . . my blog post yesterday reflected my “attitude” for the coming year, which is as close as I’ll get to being pinned down to anything measurable.

    SO enjoyed reading your post today ~ and the link to Fiona’s small stones and planting words sites. They are new to me (so much to explore!!) and already added to my bloglines list for regular following, enjoyment & absorption.

    Here’s to listening to our hearts.

  4. jeanne, herself on January 7th, 2009 12:05 pm

    well, hey, julie. “attitude.” i like that approach. i like it a lot. also like the notion of listening to our hearts – something i vow to do more of.

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